Based on the feedback received from the A1 assignment, I think the following points need to be maintained or improved.

Positive aspects:
· Use coherent clauses and advanced vocabulary.
· Keep the structure of the article intact, with clear definitions, analysis and conclusions.

· Divide into appropriate paragraphs and keep the central idea of the paragraphs unified.

Need improved:

· More evidence and reading should be added to support the article, and more academic citations as well as reference should be used. Be careful of the correct style of the reference.
· Focus on one argument rather than discussing various phenomena and backgrounds broadly and superficially.
· Increase personal critical analysis which base on academic evidence, reduce too much descriptive text, and increase the quality of in-depth analysis and examples.